* NRI: Non-Resident Indian
Being that I never lived in India and grew up in the United States most of my life, I hated visiting India. Part of this was due to the cultural difference between my relatives in India and I, and a huge culture shock from the moment I would land in India. And the other half was I strongly disliked the living situation in India, in particular, the bathroom not being up to par with what I was/am accustomed to. After having done a total of 7 trips to India in the last 30+ years, this is the “first” time I truly enjoyed my visit. I’m not quite sure if this is due to the fact that India has become more western with malls taking over every major city and the widespread influence of the American culture, or was it more to do with the fact that I went there with an open-mind and wanted to explore New Delhi as a tourist, not a visitor.
As I flew back home, I sat back and wondered what was so different about this past trip? For the first time in my life, why was I sad leaving a country I had repelled for so long?
For one, I give my 20 year old niece (cousin’s daughter), Umang, a whole lot of credit for knowing exactly where to hangout in New Delhi – it truly helps hanging out with a local whose company you actually enjoy. Given that Umang is quite western in a lot of ways and represents an entirely new generation in India who are commonly referred to as RNI (Resident Non-Indian), it was much easier to connect with her than say other relatives of mine. Umang took me to hidden gems, some wonderful cafes & restaurants in New Dehli that I would never have experienced had I not hung out with her.
Second, my husband who knows a thing or two about New Delhi arranged for a driver which made getting around a whole lot easier. It was also great he had lots of time to spend with me since New Delhi isn't exactly safe for women during the evening hours.
Third, I believe due to the western culture boom in India, India isn’t as foreign to me as it once was. Aren’t we all drawn to cultures we are able to connect with at some level? The malls are brand new and immaculate, and quite honestly one wouldn’t know the difference between the United States and India if you were just hanging out at a mall, in fact the malls in Delhi appeared to be a lot nicer than those in the USA.
And lastly, the biggest difference was I had a plan each day so no time went wasted, I went to India with an open-mind and as a tourist. Sitting at home and roaming the crowded streets of Karol Bagh were a thing of the past, although I couldn’t help but visit the infamous Karol Bagh at least once, it’s tradition now. Overall, the trip felt more like a vacation and was perfectly balanced with all things I loved to do – hanging out with family, eating, shopping, and sightseeing.
So has India changed? In many ways, yes. For one, I saw a huge difference in Delhi’s International Airport. My first thought was, holy crap, are we in India? Dehli’s airport is far better than New York’s JFK and London’s Heathrow, and all I could think was - it’s about freakin' time! I was truly pleased to see that. 
On my last visit 2 years ago, Delhi's airport was still in the process of being renovated with absolutely no brands in sight, and now every brand from Lancome to Mango to Chanel to Versace had landed at Delhi’s International airport. The country as a whole is going through a major transformation as people have “new money” and aren’t shying away from spending it. Dehli’s airport is beautifully designed with immaculate floors, palm trees here and there, and lots of cafes. I was actually annoyed we arrived late during departure because I could have totally spent my leftover rupees in “duty free” shopping, but I’m sure my husband was relieved. 
India is no longer as reasonable as it once was. Since I was receiving 50 Rupees on my 1 USD, I didn’t find the fast foods, such as, McDonalds, Café Coffee Day, Dominos Pizza to be expensive, but I did notice a huge rise in inflation. Just two years ago, a cappuccino at Café Coffee Day that was priced at 50 Rupees ($1) was now priced at 84 Rupees ($1.68). From a local’s perspective, that is a major rise in inflation in merely 2 years. What I did find expensive, however, was dining out in New Delhi. A slice of cake ranged anywhere from 150 Rupees ($3) to 250 Rupees ($5) just as you would expect in the United States, and the portions were much smaller than here in the United States.
Since alcohol is still controlled in New Delhi, a martini will run you about 450 Rupees ($9). Appetizers ranged anywhere from 300 Rupees ($6) to 950 Rupees ($19), again, this is pretty much what you would expect from a restaurant in the United States. And what shocked me most was the tax on food when dining out. Most places added a service charge anywhere from 10% to 20%, there was generally a Service Tax of 3%, and also DVAT Tax of 12.5% and 20% on the same bill. On one occasion we paid up to 42.5% in tax alone! The cost of dining out in New Delhi is really no different than dining out in New York City, although the cost of drinks is cheaper in New Delhi, but the taxes are much, much higher. With such a rise in inflation and taxes, I can't possibly understand how middle-class Indians will be able to afford this lifestyle? The rich just seem to be getting richer, whereas the poor just seem to be getting poorer and at some point this lack of equality will not sustain.
Unlike the western world, in India it is quite apparent who has money and who does not simply by the way a person looks. While shopping at the malls in India, it was noticeable that only folks in the middle-upper and upper class society shopped there. Aunties hanging out with other aunties at a café with their Louis Vuitton satchels was quite the norm at New Delhi’s Vasant Kunj DLF Emporio mall. But with the same token, the malls were not really crowded on a weekend afternoon, whereas the markets of Karol Bagh and Lajpat Nagar were crowded regardless of the day. There still appears to be a huge segregation amongst the people in terms of wealth. 
And now the negatives, I’m sure you saw this coming. In terms of traffic, noise, and overall “outdoor” cleanliness, although there is some improvement, India is still quite behind in my opinion. There is still a major disparity between the indoor and outdoor lifestyle, meaning you can live a quality life indoors if you’re willing to spend the money for it, but you can’t have the same quality of life outdoors given the level of pollution, stressful driving, and lack of cleanliness. Getting from point A to point B can be rather maddening given the amount of traffic and the constant beeping sound of the auto rickshaws that surround you. 
In terms of safety for women, I’m not sure if there has been advancement, especially in New Delhi where women are typically accompanied by at least 1 male or more. Unlike Mumbai and Bangalore which are always a step ahead of New Delhi, New Delhi still remains unsafe for women at night. For a woman, taking a cab alone in the evening is not recommended here. Compare this to the United States and you will find that most women are independent and don't need to be accompanied by a male in major cities. India still seems to be a highly male driven society where you see hoards of men, everywhere, who love to “stare,” even if you aren’t dressed provocatively. I mentioned this to my niece, Umang, and she said to stare back and give them attitude, but I didn’t listen to her and just looked away. She's just 20, street smart, and knows how to handle herself, I on the other hand still remain naive when in India.
So is this love for India? No, not yet at least, but strangely enough, I felt a slight sense of belonging during my recent visit even though I never lived there. I can't comprehend "that feeling" either. India did and always will continue to mystify me for as long as I shall live. My “perfect world” would entail having the luxuries of India at a reasonable cost in combination with a high quality of life in the US and all its amenities. Does that exist anywhere? I do not know. But I do know for once in my life leaving India felt bittersweet, bitter in the sense that I will miss my family, the laid-back lifestyle, and being treated like a "memsaab" everywhere I went, and sweet because I was sorta looking forward to coming home, my upset stomach fixing itself, and just taking a nice long hot shower with the perfect amount of water pressure. Shallow? Yes, perhaps!
TELL ME: Are you an NRI? What are your thoughts on India? And for those of you who moved back to India, what are some of the struggles you faced in India? Thoughts? I’d love to hear!
Khushboo says
Wow this was such a great post and I felt like I could have written it myself. I am an NRI and like yourself, I hated coming back when I was growing up...it just seemed so dirty and uncivilized! Never would I thought I would voluntarily choose to come live here! Like you said, it's about deciding what you want and making the best of the situation. As much as I can complain about the dirty roads, expensive eating out, pollution, dependency on cars/drivers, and what not, focusing on the characteristics which I do love about India definitely make it worth the ride!
I am glad your take on Delhi has somewhat improved :)! Next stop Mumbai!
Kiran @ KiranTarun.com says
Great honest post. I don't think you are shallow. I share similar opinions about India in this post. But I am so glad to read about the improvements, and how much your willingness to take it all in, in the positive way 🙂
Thanks for sharing "our" point of views 🙂
Parita @ myinnershakti says
I loved this post because of your honesty! Whenever we visit India, I'm excited for about 1-2 weeks, and when that third week rolls around, I'm ready to come home. It's a double edged sword for me - on the one hand, India is where my ancestors are from and on the other hand, the US is where I grew up and what I know. I think it's a beautiful country with so much to offer, but I have to admit, some of the feelings and thoughts you experienced always come to mind for me too.
Asmita says
Your post is really well written. Even though I am a Mumbai girl, born and brought up there I do feel the same about the basic infrastructure or rather lack of it. India is my home, I have been in the States for last 11 years, but I do find myself complaining when I head back to India for a vacation about the roads, pollution,traffic. But after all the complaining and cribbing, I still miss it.
Yes, it has changed a lot. The airports are big and well maintained now. It's nice that your niece was able to show you around.
Anonymous says
I think the world is becoming a small place. Most NRIs visiting India now leave with somewhat better feeling than in the past. I share special attachment with both US and India, and I must say that the love/hate situation I go thru will never change :-). Thanks for this post...its honest, to the point and yet leaves a warm feeling.
NauticalWheeler says
I love India! It's one of my favorite places. I've never been to New Delhi though, looks so commercialized.
From Brooklyn with love,
Jen
Hanna & Christel says
it looks amazing out there and all the food looks so delicious!
<3
molliee says
looks like quite an adventure! I have never been but would like to go for a short trip at least!
Sarah says
It's really interesting to read your thoughts on India. I've only ever been to Sri Lanka which I know isn't part of India, but I'm told the culture is similar? Anyway, I totally got what you meant about men staring in a different way to how men look at you in Western cultures. Nonetheless, I'd love to go to India just for the experience of it. It's great to hear that you enjoyed this visit, finally!
Tina says
This was a good read. I have always believed that when traveling, you do need to focus on the better things about the country for each country does have its own splendor as well as downsides. Glad you have come away with a better focus on the wonderful things about India.
Ameena says
I love your recap...
I used to detest going to India for so many of the same reasons - the dirty bathrooms, the disorganization, the gross men, etc. but I think that if I were to visit again now I'd totally love it.
I'm so shocked at how much has changed since I was there - the have Marks & Spencer? Louboutin? Crazy.
Gorgeous photos. Thanks for sharing. And now I can't wait to visit myself soon. 🙂
K says
Thank you so much for sharing such a great post!!! I loved to read it, i can imagine it must be different coming back! it seems like change happenes almost over night!! 🙂
love K
Devaki says
Such a great post - I get this, totally! And forget about offending anyone..it's the honest truth & if you can't handle the truth..oh well! I am shocked myself returning and seeing all this money flashed every where. Agree with you completely...Mumbai is much dafer than ND where women are concerned but from what I understand is getting dicier by the day 🙂
chow! Devaki @ weavethousandflavors
honeywhatscooking says
Thank you all - I'm glad this post resonated with most of you. And for those of you who lived in India, yes, I'm sure it is a constant struggle of which life to choose.
honeywhatscooking says
@Khushboo - I'm hoping my next stop is Goa, Kerela, Mumbai - here is to hoping! 🙂
@Kiran - thanks for not thinking I'm shallow... I don't think so either. 🙂
@Parita - I totally hear you, the max I stayed was 2 weeks and 2 days, and I think it was time. In the future though, I'd like to make my own lodging arrangements to avoid all the problems most NRIs face, bathroom and all.
honeywhatscooking says
@Asmita - Yeah, I know many folks who left India who complain about it and miss it, not easy.
@Sarah - I've never been to Sri Lanka, but I'm certain the cultures are very similar. Glad you got that on how "men stare" - there is an apparent difference in how men (some, not all) look at you in India vs. in the west.
@Tina - you are absolutely right, I think I'm maturing, but as a kid, I definitely didn't focus on the positives. 🙂
honeywhatscooking says
@Ameena - I firmly believe you would enjoy your visit this time because you would totally do your own thing. It makes a huge difference if you make your own accommodations vs. staying with a relative. I hated going there as a kid and in my teenage years, even in my 20s, but I hope to be more open-minded going forward.
Thanks K.
@Devaki - haha.. glad I didn't offend anyone, but needed to add that, you never know. Yes, Mumbai is definitely safer than ND, but of course crime occurs everywhere, just have to be more careful in certain areas than others.
Thanks!!!
Mandy says
I loved reading this! Interesting to hear how similar it is to the US in many ways, but still drastically different. Reading about your experience actually made me really want to visit India. Hopefully I will be able to one day.
Mandy
Kini Style & The Klury Report
Anonymous says
It was a good read, I've been in the US for 11 years now, im from mumbai basically and even though im born & raised there,i still feel like a complete stranger sometimes over there!! The amount of money people spend and think nothing of it is kinda hard to grasp for me and quite ure right about thetax on food & drinks- i remember having a paan martini at taj land's end for $ 15 back in 2008, i wonder what the price is now !!
Eat & Burpp says
I am not an NRI..but I follow your blog and came across this post! I am an Indian and can understand the problems you have faced. It was a wonderful read!
However, would like to point out something! The two countries are completely different in terms of the culture, the history, the origin..everything! One is 'developed' while the other is 'developing'!! They are never going to attain the same levels..may be as you have found something appealing this time..it's just about changing the angle and viewing it that way!! As you know..even the lines on both the hands are not similar neither are the Iris!! But they are still beautiful in their own ways!! So may be there isn't any point in comparing the two!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
BeetleBuggy says
Wow! I haven't been to Delhi in nearly 10 years and my jaw dropped at your pictures of the new airport! It's really nice to see things changing so fast back home and I hope people catch up with the times as well. I hate how you get stared at by every Tom, Dick and Harry there. It's pointless staring back at them because some of them enjoy that, so I just ignore everyone. Totally enjoyed your pictures, Honey!
honeywhatscooking says
@Mandy - thanks!
@Anonymous - dining out in India is definitely not cheap, i don't think it's any different than the US.
@BeetleBuggy - I know staring is a major issue there, very annoying. Apart from that, lots of positive changes. 🙂
honeywhatscooking says
@Eat & Burpp - I totally respect your point of view, but being of Indian origin, it is very hard not to compare both countries. India is a developing country, agreed, but with the rapid growth there. there has to be other changes as well. I had to point out the obvious and focus on the positives as well as the negatives. Just like any country, including the US, there are positives and negatives.
sharikahline says
Yes, I am reading this pretty late, but I just bumped across your blog lately (and love it so far)!
Thanks for writing about views on visiting vs. traveling to India. I am an NRI, who lived about 5 years in India. Recently, I go back almost once a year and every time that trip nears, I get very anxious, mostly dealing with culture differences even within family. It's sad and true. last year however, I had a good time, maybe because I actually got to be a bit of a tourist and experienced the houseboat in Kerala backwaters and luckily squeezed in a trip to Athirappilly water falls! Both beautiful, relaxing. There are cons and I guess the least I can do is not dwell in them too much.
Then again, glad to see a lot of cosmo developments in Delhi! Thanks for sharing pics!
honeywhatscooking says
@sharikahline - Thanks so much.. glad you like the blog. Yes, just like you I get very anxious traveling to India and dealing with all the problems. It definitely helps if you travel and stay at nice hotels (in my opinion). The problem is NRIs tend to visit India and see family, but it is important to see the country as a tourist for a change. 🙂
Anonymous says
Found your blog lately...Love your precise writing! And I can so much relate with the "bathroom situation" 😛 , water pressure and all... And no we are not shallow...I wish the extremeties in India would start to bridge in some or any way..
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Juhi says
Although I can appreciate the sentiment of wanting more conveniences, etc. in India, saying that India was not worth visiting until it became more "western" is a rather futile way to presenting the problem. Western civilization is not the same as modernization, and I think it would be helpful if NRIs like you and me remembered that progress does not mean becoming more like another culture, it is simply having the resources to catch up after centuries of colonization. But I appreciated your post nonetheless!